"Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne?...."
I googled it this morning and found out that it is a song that millions try to sing, but most folks sing it incorrectly. There are as many variations to the lyrics as there are singers of this classic.It was thought to have been written by Robert Burns in the 1700's as a poem, but sung to the tune of a traditional Scottish folk song. Auld Lang Syne literally means, "for old times sake", "as long since", "long, long ago", "days gone by", or "old times". It is traditionally used at funerals, graduations, or as a farewell for ending other occasions. In English speaking countries, it is traditionally the New Year's Eve - stroke of midnight- song. It signals letting go of the past and embracing the future - out with the old year and in with the new.
Let's all take time to cherish our past. Let go! Then we can embrace our future with renewed spirits and hopeful thoughts.
May 2011 be as special as you would want it to be!
Don't make those silly resolutions that you have no hopes of keeping. KISS - those resolutions that are attainable and make you happy!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!
Love and peace from 2010 and projected in 2011,
Cathy
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas Sunday! This weekend has been a whirlwind of activity. Beginning with the Ladies Progressive dinner on Thursday; candlelight service at church on Christmas Eve; on to Carolyn's Christmas Eve party; Christmas morning activities with the Gravenmiers (Beth, Cathy, and Trent Odle), with the Smiths, with the Westbrooks, and back to the Gravenmiers; Christmas afternoon/evening festivities at the Campers for all Drake and Drake offsprings, plus a few extras; church/Sunday School on Sunday; and ending with dinner and UNO Flash game night at the Westbrooks on Sunday night had me so busy that I forgot how tiring Christmas could be.
However, what is it about those "idle hands"? The devil didn't stand a chance this Christmas.
It is probably a good thing. Maybe that was the plan! This was our "first Christmas and holiday season" without the "Big Man" (as Beth called him). There were many rough spots and some so tough that I couldn't get my breath. I couldn't control the panicky feeling. Sometimes the tears were so plentiful. Sometimes the memories were so vivid. Sometimes the thoughts were so tender and sweet. However with each bad bout there was that loving nudge, gentle reminder of protection, and comforting, whispered voice in my head and heart telling me to "BREATHE!"
"... I am with you to the ends of time."
We definitely remembered holiday seasons from our past, but we were also able to "make many new memories" from our present.
We are truly blessed with a loving family and wonderful friends.
Thank you, Lord for being so steadfast and providing your guiding light.
Love and peace,
Cathy
However, what is it about those "idle hands"? The devil didn't stand a chance this Christmas.
It is probably a good thing. Maybe that was the plan! This was our "first Christmas and holiday season" without the "Big Man" (as Beth called him). There were many rough spots and some so tough that I couldn't get my breath. I couldn't control the panicky feeling. Sometimes the tears were so plentiful. Sometimes the memories were so vivid. Sometimes the thoughts were so tender and sweet. However with each bad bout there was that loving nudge, gentle reminder of protection, and comforting, whispered voice in my head and heart telling me to "BREATHE!"
"... I am with you to the ends of time."
We definitely remembered holiday seasons from our past, but we were also able to "make many new memories" from our present.
We are truly blessed with a loving family and wonderful friends.
Thank you, Lord for being so steadfast and providing your guiding light.
Love and peace,
Cathy
Friday, December 24, 2010
December 23, 2010
Have you ever been to a progressive dinner? Have you ever been to only a women's progressive dinner? Have you ever been to anything progressive involving Drake women and all off shoots?
Let it be recorded in history that Thursday, December 23, 2010 the first Davis, Drake, Gravenmier, Jackson, Shearin, Smith, Vandiver, and Westbrooks progressive dinner was held and was quite successful - if I do say so myself! Appetitizers and beverages began at Beth's and Cathy's (Gravenmier). Hot and spicy, healthy, but appealing, and dripping with chocolate were adjectives for the hors d'oeuvres. YUM! YUM!
After a short walk across the side yard at the Gravenmiers, Round 2 was at Amy's and Kendall's (Westbrooks - next door to the Gravenmiers). A scrumptious, well-balanced meal with all food groups represented (pork tenderloin, baked potato, salad with all toppings, and rolls) was quietly eaten by all present. Apparently all were quite hungry and talking could definitely wait until hunger was sated.(This probably should have been recorded on tape, since most family gatherings are anything but, quiet-at any time.) Sufficiently full, leisurely conversation included talk of moving to the next house for desserts and coffee/beverages.
Since the third destination was Kate's and was only one street behind the Westbrooks' and Gravenmiers' abodes, many chose to carpool while many chose to drive single vehicles. Upon arrival at Kate's for Round 3, it was duly noted that Cathy was not in attendance. Having taken a moment to go in the house for her coat, all vehicles left her. Apparently all felt that she was capable of finding her own transportation. Being a lovely, frigid night I (Cathy) chose to hoof it over to Kate's. Beth did poke her head out the front door of Kate's, call "MOM?!?!", and I answered her. She proceeded to go back in and wait until I made it-all by myself.
* "I suppose this was her attempt at keeping in contact with her elders!"
A good time was had by all that came! We missed Carolyn who was getting ready for the Christmas Eve shindig at her house tomorrow, Tracy who was still in Memphis, and Ruthie who was making sure that Santa was coming to her house. There was even much talk about the progressive dinner for "2011".
It was a great break from our traditions, and it sure was a lot of fun! Christmas and the holiday season are all about great family and friends and tradition. I am surely proud to say that my family are great enough to be included in my friends category as well.
Merry day before Christmas Eve!
Count your blessings. God gave us all our ultimate gift. Remember that as you hit your knees!
Love and peace,
Cathy
Let it be recorded in history that Thursday, December 23, 2010 the first Davis, Drake, Gravenmier, Jackson, Shearin, Smith, Vandiver, and Westbrooks progressive dinner was held and was quite successful - if I do say so myself! Appetitizers and beverages began at Beth's and Cathy's (Gravenmier). Hot and spicy, healthy, but appealing, and dripping with chocolate were adjectives for the hors d'oeuvres. YUM! YUM!
After a short walk across the side yard at the Gravenmiers, Round 2 was at Amy's and Kendall's (Westbrooks - next door to the Gravenmiers). A scrumptious, well-balanced meal with all food groups represented (pork tenderloin, baked potato, salad with all toppings, and rolls) was quietly eaten by all present. Apparently all were quite hungry and talking could definitely wait until hunger was sated.(This probably should have been recorded on tape, since most family gatherings are anything but, quiet-at any time.) Sufficiently full, leisurely conversation included talk of moving to the next house for desserts and coffee/beverages.
Since the third destination was Kate's and was only one street behind the Westbrooks' and Gravenmiers' abodes, many chose to carpool while many chose to drive single vehicles. Upon arrival at Kate's for Round 3, it was duly noted that Cathy was not in attendance. Having taken a moment to go in the house for her coat, all vehicles left her. Apparently all felt that she was capable of finding her own transportation. Being a lovely, frigid night I (Cathy) chose to hoof it over to Kate's. Beth did poke her head out the front door of Kate's, call "MOM?!?!", and I answered her. She proceeded to go back in and wait until I made it-all by myself.
* "I suppose this was her attempt at keeping in contact with her elders!"
A good time was had by all that came! We missed Carolyn who was getting ready for the Christmas Eve shindig at her house tomorrow, Tracy who was still in Memphis, and Ruthie who was making sure that Santa was coming to her house. There was even much talk about the progressive dinner for "2011".
It was a great break from our traditions, and it sure was a lot of fun! Christmas and the holiday season are all about great family and friends and tradition. I am surely proud to say that my family are great enough to be included in my friends category as well.
Merry day before Christmas Eve!
Count your blessings. God gave us all our ultimate gift. Remember that as you hit your knees!
Love and peace,
Cathy
Sunday, December 19, 2010
School's Out for Christmas
It is a school teacher's special time of year. The ten days during Christmas time are officially a teacher's paid vacation and we try to make the most of this time. It is a time for teachers to reconnect with family and friends who have gotten lost or pushed to the background in the mass of lesson plans, meetings, grading papers, standards, etc, etc. It is a time of rejuvenation. Even Energizer bunnies need a charge every once in a while. Teaching is still a rewarding profession, but requires so much more than it did in the past. The breaks are as necessary for the students as they are for teachers.
Carolyn, Kate, Beth, and I are in Pigeon Forge as I type. I just felt that a break from tradition was in order this year. We have a great chalet that sleeps eight- if you don't mind sleeping on an oversized chair, couch or the dining room table. It is a three story log house that is inaptly named "Dare to Bear", aka "MKI". The decor on floor three and one are decorated in bear accessories, while floor two (the main floor) has moose decor. It is warm and cozy complete with fireplace, Christmas tree and decorations. There are two bedrooms, a media room with 4 cozy recliners, a game room overlooking the family area, two complete decks, and a hot tub. Beth, our tour director, did quite a good job finding this abode! -----I would like to have a version of this "cabin in the woods" in woodsy area of Milan, Tennessee. YEAH, RIGHT!
We had a awesome time at the Tanger Outlet Mall trying to begin and end shopping for Christmas. We blew through there yesterday and completed most of our tasks in only two shifts - afternoon and 2nd shift (night). We marched through the outlet (a million stores in all) like Sherman marching through Georgia. We tried in pairs, but realized quickly we could not enter ALL stores unless we split up. After receiving our shopping assignments, we split up and charged the stores. SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!! We even had time to regroup and check our progress over Peppermint White Chocolate Mochas. The only casulties we had were sore stomachs and sides from laughing!Today we will venture to Asheville to see The Biltmore at Christmas. We have late afternoon and evening tickets so that we can fully experience Christmas with the "rich and famous".
Shopping with four women causes some "testiness". When this occurs, our new expression to bring things into perspective is "We are making memories, here!!!!!"
This is a bittersweet time of the year, but family,faith, fun, love, tears, and laughter help me to survive!
'Tis the Season! Merry Christmas to all. Our rewards and blessings abound.
Love and peace,
Cathy
Carolyn, Kate, Beth, and I are in Pigeon Forge as I type. I just felt that a break from tradition was in order this year. We have a great chalet that sleeps eight- if you don't mind sleeping on an oversized chair, couch or the dining room table. It is a three story log house that is inaptly named "Dare to Bear", aka "MKI". The decor on floor three and one are decorated in bear accessories, while floor two (the main floor) has moose decor. It is warm and cozy complete with fireplace, Christmas tree and decorations. There are two bedrooms, a media room with 4 cozy recliners, a game room overlooking the family area, two complete decks, and a hot tub. Beth, our tour director, did quite a good job finding this abode! -----I would like to have a version of this "cabin in the woods" in woodsy area of Milan, Tennessee. YEAH, RIGHT!
We had a awesome time at the Tanger Outlet Mall trying to begin and end shopping for Christmas. We blew through there yesterday and completed most of our tasks in only two shifts - afternoon and 2nd shift (night). We marched through the outlet (a million stores in all) like Sherman marching through Georgia. We tried in pairs, but realized quickly we could not enter ALL stores unless we split up. After receiving our shopping assignments, we split up and charged the stores. SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!! We even had time to regroup and check our progress over Peppermint White Chocolate Mochas. The only casulties we had were sore stomachs and sides from laughing!Today we will venture to Asheville to see The Biltmore at Christmas. We have late afternoon and evening tickets so that we can fully experience Christmas with the "rich and famous".
Shopping with four women causes some "testiness". When this occurs, our new expression to bring things into perspective is "We are making memories, here!!!!!"
This is a bittersweet time of the year, but family,faith, fun, love, tears, and laughter help me to survive!
'Tis the Season! Merry Christmas to all. Our rewards and blessings abound.
Love and peace,
Cathy
Sunday, December 12, 2010
When it rains......
Just when I thought that I was getting a handle on life, it throws another curve ball. Tuesday, my brother was at the lake with my nephew (his son-in-law). They were meeting the satellite man in an effort to try to get better tv reception. After adjusting the satellite signal we were at 70% reception. It was suggested that 90% reception was possible if a few limbs were removed from above the satellite. Brother Brooks and Chris decide to tackle this task by leaning a ladder on the roof of the cabin and against the tree. Chris takes chainsaw in hand, climbs ladder, and cuts first limb successfully. They should stop while they are ahead! OHHHHH No! They decide to go for the second limb. Brooks decides that Chris is not doing it right, and takes Chris's place on the ladder. The chainsaw gets wedged in the rather large limb (which Chris has tied on to so that he can control the drop of the limb). Brooks pulls/tugs on the saw: Chris pulls on the limb; the chainsaw and Brooks release at the same time. Brooks falls 13 feet off the ladder, hits his head and becomes unconscious. As he is rolling off the roof, Chris manages to save Brooks from a nasty fall to the ground and probably his death.
After Brooks is unresponsive for 5 minutes, Chris puts in a call to 911. Brooks sits up, stands up, sits back down, and climbs down the ladder. The EMT arrive and haul him to the Paris ER. This is when the infamous Drake Clan (Vandiver, Shearin, Gravenmier, Camper, Davis, Drake, Whitby, and Jackson) phone tree begins. Everyone that is able is mobilized to Paris, TN.
--The funny thing is that I left Milan after Jennifer/Anne and Kay/Butch did, but still arrived at the ER long before they did. I had to have passed them, but none of us remember the exchange of driving order. I heard the news, got in my car, and the next recollection that I had was the "Big Fish" welcoming me to Paris, Tn. WEIRD!!!!!!!
After many tests, xrays, and CT scan it was found that he had a brain bleed and they would be airlifting him to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville. (He was quite excited to think about riding in the helicopter until it actually came time to do it. It was a rather tight squeeze and none of us could go with him).
The second wave of Drake Clan are mobilized. Diane, Carolyn, and Ruthie are now dispatched to Nashville to meet Brooks at Vandy. Sarah (Diane's daughter and student at Vandy) is notified so that she might meet Brooks and wait while the rest of us are enroute. Jennifer decides to go from Paris to Nashville. Chris has to return to Milan to get clothes for he and Jennifer. (He has a conference in Murfreesboro for the next few days.) Anne and I decide to travel back to Milan to await the news from Vandy. Kay and Butch go to the lake to finish securing the place since Brooks and Chris had to leave so abruptly.
The next morning wave number 3 (Kate, Amy, Beth, Kay, and Cathy) leave for Vandy. The four of us were going that day since Amy had an appointment with a rheumatologist to determine the source for many of her joint issues. Kay decided to go along as well. Wave 4 occurred with Anne and Josh (after having a minor procedure) arriving Wednesday afternoon. "The family reunion began at that point!"
Thanks to the Lord's protective arm around all of us, we all had very safe, uneventful trips to Nashville. After many hours of testing, it was determined that Brooks had 9 broken ribs, a diabetes spike, elevated blood pressure, a brain bleed, a hole in his lung, a contusion on his hip, and broken spine (burrs).
After 3 days at Vandy, he was able to leave, return to Milan, and go to my house to recover. As I told him, it serves him right for doing such a dumb thing (as lean a ladder on a roof against a tree) that I should be assigned as his at home nurse. "A ladder, roof, and chainsaw should never be used in the same context." We have so many wonderful, qualified nurses (5 in all) in our family, but he gets a household without one.
However, he is so much better. It will be a slow, painful process of healing, but we will push on.
The time in Vanderbilt was bittersweet. I had some time to go to the oncology department, but was unable to see his doctor and her nurse. I was able to travel those same halls that I had haunted for almost a year. Brooks was in the ER where we had spent the night on one occasion. It was a tough time awaiting Brooks' fate in those familiar surroundings. But, we made it and are now back at home.
God will continue to hold our lives in his hands, protect us, provide comfort where needed, and help our wounds to heal. Of this, I am most certain. Thank you, Lord for your faithfulness in this another of those trying speed bumps of life.
Love and peace,
Cathy
After Brooks is unresponsive for 5 minutes, Chris puts in a call to 911. Brooks sits up, stands up, sits back down, and climbs down the ladder. The EMT arrive and haul him to the Paris ER. This is when the infamous Drake Clan (Vandiver, Shearin, Gravenmier, Camper, Davis, Drake, Whitby, and Jackson) phone tree begins. Everyone that is able is mobilized to Paris, TN.
--The funny thing is that I left Milan after Jennifer/Anne and Kay/Butch did, but still arrived at the ER long before they did. I had to have passed them, but none of us remember the exchange of driving order. I heard the news, got in my car, and the next recollection that I had was the "Big Fish" welcoming me to Paris, Tn. WEIRD!!!!!!!
After many tests, xrays, and CT scan it was found that he had a brain bleed and they would be airlifting him to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville. (He was quite excited to think about riding in the helicopter until it actually came time to do it. It was a rather tight squeeze and none of us could go with him).
The second wave of Drake Clan are mobilized. Diane, Carolyn, and Ruthie are now dispatched to Nashville to meet Brooks at Vandy. Sarah (Diane's daughter and student at Vandy) is notified so that she might meet Brooks and wait while the rest of us are enroute. Jennifer decides to go from Paris to Nashville. Chris has to return to Milan to get clothes for he and Jennifer. (He has a conference in Murfreesboro for the next few days.) Anne and I decide to travel back to Milan to await the news from Vandy. Kay and Butch go to the lake to finish securing the place since Brooks and Chris had to leave so abruptly.
The next morning wave number 3 (Kate, Amy, Beth, Kay, and Cathy) leave for Vandy. The four of us were going that day since Amy had an appointment with a rheumatologist to determine the source for many of her joint issues. Kay decided to go along as well. Wave 4 occurred with Anne and Josh (after having a minor procedure) arriving Wednesday afternoon. "The family reunion began at that point!"
Thanks to the Lord's protective arm around all of us, we all had very safe, uneventful trips to Nashville. After many hours of testing, it was determined that Brooks had 9 broken ribs, a diabetes spike, elevated blood pressure, a brain bleed, a hole in his lung, a contusion on his hip, and broken spine (burrs).
After 3 days at Vandy, he was able to leave, return to Milan, and go to my house to recover. As I told him, it serves him right for doing such a dumb thing (as lean a ladder on a roof against a tree) that I should be assigned as his at home nurse. "A ladder, roof, and chainsaw should never be used in the same context." We have so many wonderful, qualified nurses (5 in all) in our family, but he gets a household without one.
However, he is so much better. It will be a slow, painful process of healing, but we will push on.
The time in Vanderbilt was bittersweet. I had some time to go to the oncology department, but was unable to see his doctor and her nurse. I was able to travel those same halls that I had haunted for almost a year. Brooks was in the ER where we had spent the night on one occasion. It was a tough time awaiting Brooks' fate in those familiar surroundings. But, we made it and are now back at home.
God will continue to hold our lives in his hands, protect us, provide comfort where needed, and help our wounds to heal. Of this, I am most certain. Thank you, Lord for your faithfulness in this another of those trying speed bumps of life.
Love and peace,
Cathy
Monday, December 6, 2010
Aunt Liz, "Please close that North Wind Door!"
BRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!If James G. were here, he would have called his aunt in Minnesota and told her to take all of this extremely cold air back north. I just don't do well with the Arctic blasts! I am more of a "southerly breeze lady".
Getting ready for Christmas is always a chore, but a great reward when it is finished. This year it is even more of a chore, since I am not quite in the spirit. The older children (Kate, Josh, Clayton, Amy, Beth, and Trent) put lights on the house. Luckily no one was injured in the pursuit of lights on the house. I must admit that I had hoped that they would clean out my gutters while they were up there. Alas, I have lights illuminating my leaves in my gutter!
I have a tree, Santa and snowman figurines are coming out of the box tonight, and a small village will be visible by the end of this week. Andy and Kendall are so excited! Therefore, I am taking "one for the team" and trying to be in the mood.
I sure miss "Mr. Scrooge, UPS driver!" He really loved it once UPS peak was finished. He loved church on Christmas Eve; family gatherings throughout the season; loved Hallmark 25 days to Christmas movies (Don't tell his macho friends!); all the great food; and loved having his family around any time that they could be here.
Listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies is a bittersweet memory. I cry for a while, reminisce, cry for a while, feel happy and blessed for all the wonderful years, cry for a long while, pray for comfort, and survive and live on at this "wonderful time of the year"!!!!
If you know someone that has lost someone that they truly loved to the depths of their soul, please take the time to give them a smile, hug them (if it is not too weird), and wish them "PEACE, LOVE, and the return of JOY!"
Angels watching over me (Currie, Ruth, and James G.)!!!!!!
Love and Peace,
Cathy
Getting ready for Christmas is always a chore, but a great reward when it is finished. This year it is even more of a chore, since I am not quite in the spirit. The older children (Kate, Josh, Clayton, Amy, Beth, and Trent) put lights on the house. Luckily no one was injured in the pursuit of lights on the house. I must admit that I had hoped that they would clean out my gutters while they were up there. Alas, I have lights illuminating my leaves in my gutter!
I have a tree, Santa and snowman figurines are coming out of the box tonight, and a small village will be visible by the end of this week. Andy and Kendall are so excited! Therefore, I am taking "one for the team" and trying to be in the mood.
I sure miss "Mr. Scrooge, UPS driver!" He really loved it once UPS peak was finished. He loved church on Christmas Eve; family gatherings throughout the season; loved Hallmark 25 days to Christmas movies (Don't tell his macho friends!); all the great food; and loved having his family around any time that they could be here.
Listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies is a bittersweet memory. I cry for a while, reminisce, cry for a while, feel happy and blessed for all the wonderful years, cry for a long while, pray for comfort, and survive and live on at this "wonderful time of the year"!!!!
If you know someone that has lost someone that they truly loved to the depths of their soul, please take the time to give them a smile, hug them (if it is not too weird), and wish them "PEACE, LOVE, and the return of JOY!"
Angels watching over me (Currie, Ruth, and James G.)!!!!!!
Love and Peace,
Cathy
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Exploding Heart
Today is Saturday, November 27, 2010 (two days after my first Thanksgiving without "my very own turkey")! After I finished the other post, I just thought about Thursday, November 25, 2010. It was the day of the rains and wind! Consequently, it was the day of the blues. I actually thought that my heart would explode that day. The hurt was so intense. Tears were burning my eyes, face, heart and all the way to my soul. I was not sure that I could survive the heartache and loneliness. I was surrounded (for most of the day) with family and friends, but yet I felt the pain alone.
........Through God's tenderness and mercy; lots and lots of prayer; lots of family's and friends' love and support; buckets of tears later, I am still here!!!! My heart has not exploded as I thought that it would Thursday.
As a friend of mine pointed out to me today, "There is even a hint of that mischievous twinkle in your eye again!" Wonder where that came from?
Keep your eyes on the heavens.
Love and peace,
Cathy
........Through God's tenderness and mercy; lots and lots of prayer; lots of family's and friends' love and support; buckets of tears later, I am still here!!!! My heart has not exploded as I thought that it would Thursday.
As a friend of mine pointed out to me today, "There is even a hint of that mischievous twinkle in your eye again!" Wonder where that came from?
Keep your eyes on the heavens.
Love and peace,
Cathy
Anniversary
Webster's meaning of anniversary is the annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event. I have used this term all of my life, and have used it for a variety of events; birthdays, wedding anniversary, birth of our nation, etc. However, today, it has so much more meaning to me. Today is the 6th month anniversary of James' joining the angelic ranks. It is the 39th anniversary of our marriage. It is my 6th month of finding my "new normal".
It is with bittersweet memories that I celebrate this milestone alone.
If he were here, he would be so pleased this year. I went to the high school football team's semi-final play-off game in Nashville last night. Between the cool night air and lots and lots of cheering, I am so hoarse, it is hard to speak above a whisper. Don't you know that he would be eating this up. Of course, his excuse to everyone would be that "He makes me speechless just being near him for all these years!" I can truthfully say that there were so many times when he did take my breath away - sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a frightened way, and sometimes in a bad way.
What's that expression? "It is not the breaths that you take, but what takes your breath away!" I had 40 years of breath-taking experiences with that MAN!!!!!
May God's light shine upon you and may HIS love take your breath away.
Love and peace,
Cathy
It is with bittersweet memories that I celebrate this milestone alone.
If he were here, he would be so pleased this year. I went to the high school football team's semi-final play-off game in Nashville last night. Between the cool night air and lots and lots of cheering, I am so hoarse, it is hard to speak above a whisper. Don't you know that he would be eating this up. Of course, his excuse to everyone would be that "He makes me speechless just being near him for all these years!" I can truthfully say that there were so many times when he did take my breath away - sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a frightened way, and sometimes in a bad way.
What's that expression? "It is not the breaths that you take, but what takes your breath away!" I had 40 years of breath-taking experiences with that MAN!!!!!
May God's light shine upon you and may HIS love take your breath away.
Love and peace,
Cathy
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving, 2010
It is hard some times when your heart is heavy to stop and be thankful. Yet if you think about the things that laden your heart, there is a blessing in them somewhere. We don't always recognize blessings for what they are.
I am so saddened that my soul mate and friend is no longer with me. He has been with me for 40 Thanksgivings and for 39 anniversaries (Saturday, November 27)-since the first day that we met. I feel quite "odd" and "out-of- place". Course if he were here, he would have jumped on that last statement. He would have said, "You should feel odd, because you are odd!"
This morning when I looked in the mirror there were more wrinkles etched on my face. I am thankful for the wrinkles, since James Gravenmier was a major contributor for each one of them. I have earned them through the love of that crazy man.
I am thankful that I had 40 years of love for a man and he shared his love with me for 40 years. I am thankful that despite our trials and tribulations, life was still worth living and we had God as our guide and rock. I am thankful for my wonderful children, grandchildren, and the young men that they call their spouses. I am thankful for the blending of Drake/ Gravenmier (all 1000 families of Gravenmier offspring)/Smith/Westbrooks/Shearin/Whitby/Vandiver/Jackson/Camper families into one herd known as family and friends.
I am thankful for all those many blessings that are spoken, those that are whispered in reverence, and for the many that are yet to come.
Thank you. Thank you.
I am humbled beyond words on this a day of Thanksgiving.
May you find a bounty of food, friends, family, fun, fellowship, faith, and of course lots and lots of football this Thanksgiving, 2010.
Miss you Mama, Daddy, and James G.
May God's light shine on you and keep you safe!
Love and peace,
Cathy
I am so saddened that my soul mate and friend is no longer with me. He has been with me for 40 Thanksgivings and for 39 anniversaries (Saturday, November 27)-since the first day that we met. I feel quite "odd" and "out-of- place". Course if he were here, he would have jumped on that last statement. He would have said, "You should feel odd, because you are odd!"
This morning when I looked in the mirror there were more wrinkles etched on my face. I am thankful for the wrinkles, since James Gravenmier was a major contributor for each one of them. I have earned them through the love of that crazy man.
I am thankful that I had 40 years of love for a man and he shared his love with me for 40 years. I am thankful that despite our trials and tribulations, life was still worth living and we had God as our guide and rock. I am thankful for my wonderful children, grandchildren, and the young men that they call their spouses. I am thankful for the blending of Drake/ Gravenmier (all 1000 families of Gravenmier offspring)/Smith/Westbrooks/Shearin/Whitby/Vandiver/Jackson/Camper families into one herd known as family and friends.
I am thankful for all those many blessings that are spoken, those that are whispered in reverence, and for the many that are yet to come.
Thank you. Thank you.
I am humbled beyond words on this a day of Thanksgiving.
May you find a bounty of food, friends, family, fun, fellowship, faith, and of course lots and lots of football this Thanksgiving, 2010.
Miss you Mama, Daddy, and James G.
May God's light shine on you and keep you safe!
Love and peace,
Cathy
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Looking Forward....
It is hard to believe that Thanksgiving is next week. Where has this year gone?
This is probably my favorite holiday. It is so steeped in family, friends, fun, food, the parade, and fellowships (not to mention, lots and lots of football). There is no pressure, just relaxed gatherings --unless you unwisely choose to root for the wrong football teams.
It is also the time when you need to think and reflect on all of those blessings that are provided.
It is hard sometimes when you are grieving to think of anything but your hurt, pain, and sadness. However, God so richly provides for us even in our suffering. Of this I am truly certain. Thank you, Lord, for our many blessings. Thank you for providing more than we deserve.
Dust off those turkeys, pilgrims, and Indians. Sharpen the knives. Iron the tablecloths. Get batteries for the remotes. Clean out the oven. Turkey time is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace be with you,
Cathy
This is probably my favorite holiday. It is so steeped in family, friends, fun, food, the parade, and fellowships (not to mention, lots and lots of football). There is no pressure, just relaxed gatherings --unless you unwisely choose to root for the wrong football teams.
It is also the time when you need to think and reflect on all of those blessings that are provided.
It is hard sometimes when you are grieving to think of anything but your hurt, pain, and sadness. However, God so richly provides for us even in our suffering. Of this I am truly certain. Thank you, Lord, for our many blessings. Thank you for providing more than we deserve.
Dust off those turkeys, pilgrims, and Indians. Sharpen the knives. Iron the tablecloths. Get batteries for the remotes. Clean out the oven. Turkey time is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace be with you,
Cathy
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Emotions! Emotions! Emotions!
Grief brings a truckload of emotions that are sometimes too much to deal with. I have not had to deal with this much emotion since I went through menopause. Trust me, my family found out what kind of "raw" emotions that I have when I experienced menopause. Yet, I am not sure that this is not worse or at least much, more unpredictable.
You are up. You are down. You are high. You are low. You are happy. You are ecstatic. You are sadder than sad. You laugh. You cry. You love. You hate. You are grateful. You are unappreciative. You want. You can't have. You are miserable. You are okay. You wonder if it is real. You know that it is real. You experience it all. You feel it all! You.....don't feel anything.
Life is all about adjusting to this new "normal". It would be so much easier to deal with if my "sweet man" were here to remind me to "get over myself". Alas, he is not. Yet, I, will eventually "get over myself".
"God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." With this certainty, I know that in time this (heartache) too shall pass!
Enjoy this beautiful, fall weather. Reflect on the wonderful blessings that HE provides. Thanksgiving, my most favorite holiday is coming!
May HIS face shine upon you,
Cathy
You are up. You are down. You are high. You are low. You are happy. You are ecstatic. You are sadder than sad. You laugh. You cry. You love. You hate. You are grateful. You are unappreciative. You want. You can't have. You are miserable. You are okay. You wonder if it is real. You know that it is real. You experience it all. You feel it all! You.....don't feel anything.
Life is all about adjusting to this new "normal". It would be so much easier to deal with if my "sweet man" were here to remind me to "get over myself". Alas, he is not. Yet, I, will eventually "get over myself".
"God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." With this certainty, I know that in time this (heartache) too shall pass!
Enjoy this beautiful, fall weather. Reflect on the wonderful blessings that HE provides. Thanksgiving, my most favorite holiday is coming!
May HIS face shine upon you,
Cathy
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
5 Months and Counting
Well, wasn't sure how I was going to put one foot in front of the other the past few weeks, but alas God picked them up and moved them for me. When I would have pulled the covers over my head, HE yanked them off of me, stood me up, and prodded me to move forward.
I left Redbird with such a spiritual high, but when I got home and settled, I came crashing down. The true reality of me "being a widow" and being truly alone without my "friend" and "mate" knocked at my door until it broke through my thoughts. Wow! This was some revelation and it took my breath away.
Yesterday was exactly five months since his death. Even though the old expression is "that time flies when you are having fun", it also flies in the blink of an eye. This time last year, he had, himself, returned from Redbird. He probably wasn't physically able to go, but it was spiritually necessary for him to go one more time. We had just found out that the cancer had spread---that his clean slate was now dirty again. He had just been asked to go and help on the Emmaus Walk in the Spring, 2010. He needed to feel healthy one more time in God's nest in the mountains. He needed "his mountaintop experience" refresher course.
God delivered and so did James G. He accomplished all that he set out to do and never looked back.
I have had my mountaintop experience, and it looks like I am in need of a refresher course already. God really has his hands full with me right now, but it is such a blessing to know that I am worth it to God. I feel his guiding hands even when I resist.
In time HE will make all things right, but right now, all is not right. So, if you are friend or family, excuse my lack of interest, inability to make decisions about the holidays, and absentmindedness.
I am finally giving myself permission to truly grieve. I have to find my "new normal" for myself. A dear friend enlightened me to this fact. It is okay and necessary to grieve. I need to also remember that it is still very early in this process of healing.
Psalms 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts".
Grace and peace,
Cathy
I left Redbird with such a spiritual high, but when I got home and settled, I came crashing down. The true reality of me "being a widow" and being truly alone without my "friend" and "mate" knocked at my door until it broke through my thoughts. Wow! This was some revelation and it took my breath away.
Yesterday was exactly five months since his death. Even though the old expression is "that time flies when you are having fun", it also flies in the blink of an eye. This time last year, he had, himself, returned from Redbird. He probably wasn't physically able to go, but it was spiritually necessary for him to go one more time. We had just found out that the cancer had spread---that his clean slate was now dirty again. He had just been asked to go and help on the Emmaus Walk in the Spring, 2010. He needed to feel healthy one more time in God's nest in the mountains. He needed "his mountaintop experience" refresher course.
God delivered and so did James G. He accomplished all that he set out to do and never looked back.
I have had my mountaintop experience, and it looks like I am in need of a refresher course already. God really has his hands full with me right now, but it is such a blessing to know that I am worth it to God. I feel his guiding hands even when I resist.
In time HE will make all things right, but right now, all is not right. So, if you are friend or family, excuse my lack of interest, inability to make decisions about the holidays, and absentmindedness.
I am finally giving myself permission to truly grieve. I have to find my "new normal" for myself. A dear friend enlightened me to this fact. It is okay and necessary to grieve. I need to also remember that it is still very early in this process of healing.
Psalms 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts".
Grace and peace,
Cathy
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Oh, well.................
It seems these days that I take two steps forward and then move back into a hole. Shelby (I would like to think is my lab, but was really James' puppy) and I have taken up walking again. She has already lost a lot of weight grieving over him, but could use the activity. I need the exercise, need to lose weight, and definitely need the diversion. It usually helps me to get back into a better frame of mind. But, sometimes, there are just not enough steps to make up for the haunting thoughts.
We are fast approaching that time of the year that I dread - anniversary, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Memories, memories, and then some......There are so many decisions to make and I am not sure that I am up to making them. My family is awesome and trying so hard to accommodate us, but I don't really know what I want to do.
I am trying so hard to remember and live by my Redbird Mission experience.
God really has his work cut out trying to get me back on track.
HE promises to be up to the challenge. Thank you Lord for our blessings.
Holding onto HIS hem for strength.
Cathy
We are fast approaching that time of the year that I dread - anniversary, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Memories, memories, and then some......There are so many decisions to make and I am not sure that I am up to making them. My family is awesome and trying so hard to accommodate us, but I don't really know what I want to do.
I am trying so hard to remember and live by my Redbird Mission experience.
God really has his work cut out trying to get me back on track.
HE promises to be up to the challenge. Thank you Lord for our blessings.
Holding onto HIS hem for strength.
Cathy
Sunday, October 17, 2010
A Weekend at the Lake
There is nothing quite as nice as a weekend at the lake in the fall (especially October). The leaves are beginning to change; geese are in their migratory path; the night sky is full of stars ("all the stars of my life" as a 5 year old Beth stated); the eagle was in flight; lots of football on tv; and the mornings are crisp. "Awe, Fall........."
My sister, Ruthie, and her family; my niece, Jennifer, and her family; Kate and Josh; and I were prepared to relax and enjoy all of the above and enjoy being together again.
However, Brother Brooks had plans other than relaxing and enjoying fall. We painted the entire exterior of the cabin, trimmed out the windows, and even scrapped and cleaned the windows. Clean and fix up was his motto as he cracked the whip. What is up with that?!?!?!?!?
Needless to say, I am now sore, tired, and have finally gotten most of the paint off of me. I am presentable enough to go to work tomorrow. Darn it!!!!!!!
Enjoy the fall. God outdoes himself this time of year.
Grace and peace to you,
Cathy
My sister, Ruthie, and her family; my niece, Jennifer, and her family; Kate and Josh; and I were prepared to relax and enjoy all of the above and enjoy being together again.
However, Brother Brooks had plans other than relaxing and enjoying fall. We painted the entire exterior of the cabin, trimmed out the windows, and even scrapped and cleaned the windows. Clean and fix up was his motto as he cracked the whip. What is up with that?!?!?!?!?
Needless to say, I am now sore, tired, and have finally gotten most of the paint off of me. I am presentable enough to go to work tomorrow. Darn it!!!!!!!
Enjoy the fall. God outdoes himself this time of year.
Grace and peace to you,
Cathy
Friday, October 15, 2010
Things that You Miss in Loss
Missing James G...... really good hugs; his large, caring hands; green eyes; holding hands with the "Big Man"; his masculine smell; his manly noises - snoring, "Tim, the Toolman, Taylor" grunt, boy noises; his large heart; his impish smile when he worried the crap out of me; drinking coffee with him and catching up on the day; NCIS marathons; Mike Rowe's Dirtest Jobs and other such programs; leaning on his strength and him leaning on mine; sitting in church with him; watching him at church with "his ladies", his many brothers of the church, and "candyman to the children"; his approach to a construction project usually with a chainsaw in hand; his laugh; his love for his fellow man/woman; his unique way of expressing himself - pisaddeared, ttached, PMS; his devotion to God's will especially in the latter years; his willingness to drop everything to help a friend; his love of his girls, grandchildren, sons (in-laws and soon to be), sisters and brothers-in-law; unconditional love for me; laugh and laughter; joy
"God made you special, JG!"
Love you always,
CG
"God made you special, JG!"
Love you always,
CG
Just the Quiet and I
For the first time since May 27, 2010, I have had almost an entire week alone. My brother decided to spend the week at the lake. Beth was in and out (mostly out) working for Younger Assoc., the marketing firm, and Wal Mart Pharmacy as a pharmacy tech. She was not up when I left for school and I was not up when she returned- most nights. Kate began basketball practice with her team. So her visits were also limited. Amy and children were, as usual, busy, busy, busy!!!!! This left me to do whatever, whenever, not ever!
They all have been so conscious of making sure that I had a body guard or companion or something for the past 4 months. I honestly think that they assigned shifts. "Don't let the woman be alone!"
Plus, I have just come from a mission trip in which for 7 days/24 hours each day, I was surrounded by someone-Sherry, one of the men on the men's team, or one of the other campers (from other states) at Redbird.
It was a bit of a culture shock to finally be alone with myself and my thoughts after all this time. It was one of those times that I really dreaded, but knew was necessary in the healing process. I will admit some of the thoughts weren't too pleasant or uplifting and bordered on "pity" and depression.
There were some phone calls from family, but that is no substitute for human contact and noise. However, God stepped in. HE knows our hearts, minds, and spirits so well. We (HE and I) made it through and I survived my loneliness and sadness again.
It is amazing how life all seems to work out even when there isn't a "perfect silver lining". My blessings abound.
God continues to stitch the hole in my heart and HE has helped me find laughter, again.
Blessings to all.
May the Lord's face shine upon,
Cathy
They all have been so conscious of making sure that I had a body guard or companion or something for the past 4 months. I honestly think that they assigned shifts. "Don't let the woman be alone!"
Plus, I have just come from a mission trip in which for 7 days/24 hours each day, I was surrounded by someone-Sherry, one of the men on the men's team, or one of the other campers (from other states) at Redbird.
It was a bit of a culture shock to finally be alone with myself and my thoughts after all this time. It was one of those times that I really dreaded, but knew was necessary in the healing process. I will admit some of the thoughts weren't too pleasant or uplifting and bordered on "pity" and depression.
There were some phone calls from family, but that is no substitute for human contact and noise. However, God stepped in. HE knows our hearts, minds, and spirits so well. We (HE and I) made it through and I survived my loneliness and sadness again.
It is amazing how life all seems to work out even when there isn't a "perfect silver lining". My blessings abound.
God continues to stitch the hole in my heart and HE has helped me find laughter, again.
Blessings to all.
May the Lord's face shine upon,
Cathy
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A Blessed Week
One of James Gravenmier's favorite places on this Earth was Redbird Mission (First United Methodist) in Beverly, Kentucky in the Appalachian Mountains. When you speak mountains, you just know that it is a special place. James went about six years ago on a mission trip with some men of our church. From that time on he would never have considered spending a week in October in any other place. He had his mountaintop experience there and was never the same again. Hallelujah!
I, myself, now have first hand experience with Redbird. There were only two women who signed up for the trip - my friend, Sherry, and myself. Therefore, we joined forces with our men's group (13) and made our pilgrimage to one of the more remote, poverty-ridden areas in the United States. Most of these families live on less than $9500 a year. There is no cell phone service/satellite service and in some areas probably not some of the other amenities (necessities) of life.
I went for several reasons: a Gravenmier needed to be represented on this mission team; I wanted to revisit the quiet, serene place where the girls and I had scattered his ashes; I felt that this trip was necessary in order to really HEAL; but the most important reason is that God cleared the way and made it impossible to say NO to going. HE wanted me there!
We arrived on Sunday night. By bedtime that night, I was so totally overwhelmed and was desperately trying to decide who to try to call to come get me. I just did not feel that I could stay. (Thank heavens for no cell phone service.)
After spending what seemed an eternity, dawn and rain finally came to the mountains and I met our crew leader, C. R. This was a wonderful 21 year old young man who had lost his mother 3 years ago to a sudden massive heart attack, his dad remarrying rather quickly and leaving C. R. to be caregiver to 13 and 16 years old sisters. I was supposed to be here and God made sure that I stayed.
Even though we worked very hard repairing the soffit/facia, front porch, and trim on a house for Henrietta and Billy Marcum; cleaned the girls' dorm (made 28 beds, cleaned 13 bathrooms, dusted, mopped, and did all the laundry); and helped our men roof a house for the Clays, it was a wonderful bonding experience for all of us. I can truthfully say that I am exhausted.
I didn't have a mountaintop experience as James did, but God brought me to the mountain to heal. Our men on the team, lifted me up and God was waiting.
I even got to ride and operate a bucket on a bucket truck. I guess I will be able to mark "ride in a bucket off my bucket list"!!!!!
This was such a blessed week. I just had to end it with a bang. I went to early church and Sunday school in Milan. I, then, left and the girls and I went to First United Methodist, Jackson and were able to hear a sermon from our former pastor and dear friend, Dan Camp. It was a wonderful monologue, choir, sermon about the Prodigal Son. We were able to visit with he and Lane for a bit.
Blessings! Blessings! Blessings! God has poured them out around me this week.
Rest well.
Grace and Peace be with you.
May God's face shine upon you!
Cathy
I, myself, now have first hand experience with Redbird. There were only two women who signed up for the trip - my friend, Sherry, and myself. Therefore, we joined forces with our men's group (13) and made our pilgrimage to one of the more remote, poverty-ridden areas in the United States. Most of these families live on less than $9500 a year. There is no cell phone service/satellite service and in some areas probably not some of the other amenities (necessities) of life.
I went for several reasons: a Gravenmier needed to be represented on this mission team; I wanted to revisit the quiet, serene place where the girls and I had scattered his ashes; I felt that this trip was necessary in order to really HEAL; but the most important reason is that God cleared the way and made it impossible to say NO to going. HE wanted me there!
We arrived on Sunday night. By bedtime that night, I was so totally overwhelmed and was desperately trying to decide who to try to call to come get me. I just did not feel that I could stay. (Thank heavens for no cell phone service.)
After spending what seemed an eternity, dawn and rain finally came to the mountains and I met our crew leader, C. R. This was a wonderful 21 year old young man who had lost his mother 3 years ago to a sudden massive heart attack, his dad remarrying rather quickly and leaving C. R. to be caregiver to 13 and 16 years old sisters. I was supposed to be here and God made sure that I stayed.
Even though we worked very hard repairing the soffit/facia, front porch, and trim on a house for Henrietta and Billy Marcum; cleaned the girls' dorm (made 28 beds, cleaned 13 bathrooms, dusted, mopped, and did all the laundry); and helped our men roof a house for the Clays, it was a wonderful bonding experience for all of us. I can truthfully say that I am exhausted.
I didn't have a mountaintop experience as James did, but God brought me to the mountain to heal. Our men on the team, lifted me up and God was waiting.
I even got to ride and operate a bucket on a bucket truck. I guess I will be able to mark "ride in a bucket off my bucket list"!!!!!
This was such a blessed week. I just had to end it with a bang. I went to early church and Sunday school in Milan. I, then, left and the girls and I went to First United Methodist, Jackson and were able to hear a sermon from our former pastor and dear friend, Dan Camp. It was a wonderful monologue, choir, sermon about the Prodigal Son. We were able to visit with he and Lane for a bit.
Blessings! Blessings! Blessings! God has poured them out around me this week.
Rest well.
Grace and Peace be with you.
May God's face shine upon you!
Cathy
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Wahoo!!!!!!!!Fall Break
Your body and mind just know when it is time for a break, a release, and sabbatical. For teachers, it is called "Fall Break". Even Energizer Bunnies need to refuel and charge.
My fall break will be exciting; a new adventure; rewarding, but a bit sad/melancholy/scary. Another lady and I will be travelling with our men's group from the church to Redbird Mission in the Appalachians of Kentucky. This was one of James's favorite "homes away from home" and where he had his mountaintop experience 6 years ago. Our church usually sends a women's team the last week of September and a men's team the first week in October. They travel there to work in and around the mission trying to help people's lives to become a little more comfortable. The women usually work at the school, in the store, in the offices, or doing light repair work on some of the homes - like painting, cleaning up, etc. The men usually have a major repair or construction project. They work very hard and diligently for a week so that their project is finished at the end of the week. They have replaced roofs, added rooms on, added disability ramps, etc.
Six years ago, God called James to Redbird through Jerry Flippin, a lovely 80ish gentleman of our church who organizes the men's trip each year. After almost talking himself out of the trip, he finally went and came back a changed "man of God". God touched him as only God can. God began then preparing us both for James' journey into the valley of the shadow of death. So each year after that year he planned one of his vacation times around the Redbird trip.
He so wanted me to go, too. However, the ladies trip was at a time when I was teaching. I just felt that my mission was to my students, here in Tennessee. He and I had planned on going just for a visit and to introduce me to the Redbird/Appalachian lifestyle in April of this year during my spring break, but alas, it was not meant to be. I had planned on going with another group from another city maybe in the summer, but it didn't happen. Leave it to God to get you where you need to be and to work out the details. The team from our church this year is a coed team, since there are only 2 women able to go.
I have been to Redbird only once and that was to scatter James' ashes in a place that God picked out for him. It will be a bitter sweet return to the mountains.
Please pray for our team and that God's will will be done this week.
Enjoy this glorious fall weather.
Grace and peace be with you.
Cathy
My fall break will be exciting; a new adventure; rewarding, but a bit sad/melancholy/scary. Another lady and I will be travelling with our men's group from the church to Redbird Mission in the Appalachians of Kentucky. This was one of James's favorite "homes away from home" and where he had his mountaintop experience 6 years ago. Our church usually sends a women's team the last week of September and a men's team the first week in October. They travel there to work in and around the mission trying to help people's lives to become a little more comfortable. The women usually work at the school, in the store, in the offices, or doing light repair work on some of the homes - like painting, cleaning up, etc. The men usually have a major repair or construction project. They work very hard and diligently for a week so that their project is finished at the end of the week. They have replaced roofs, added rooms on, added disability ramps, etc.
Six years ago, God called James to Redbird through Jerry Flippin, a lovely 80ish gentleman of our church who organizes the men's trip each year. After almost talking himself out of the trip, he finally went and came back a changed "man of God". God touched him as only God can. God began then preparing us both for James' journey into the valley of the shadow of death. So each year after that year he planned one of his vacation times around the Redbird trip.
He so wanted me to go, too. However, the ladies trip was at a time when I was teaching. I just felt that my mission was to my students, here in Tennessee. He and I had planned on going just for a visit and to introduce me to the Redbird/Appalachian lifestyle in April of this year during my spring break, but alas, it was not meant to be. I had planned on going with another group from another city maybe in the summer, but it didn't happen. Leave it to God to get you where you need to be and to work out the details. The team from our church this year is a coed team, since there are only 2 women able to go.
I have been to Redbird only once and that was to scatter James' ashes in a place that God picked out for him. It will be a bitter sweet return to the mountains.
Please pray for our team and that God's will will be done this week.
Enjoy this glorious fall weather.
Grace and peace be with you.
Cathy
Monday, September 27, 2010
Life and All of Its Mysteries
Within a period of seven days, one of my cohorts lost her mom (96 years old); one of my cohorts lost a mother-in-law (97 years old); one of my cohorts lost her granddaugher (3 weeks old); and the same one that lost a granddaughter had a grandson born the day after the granddaughter passed away. Life has its ups and downs- its highs and lows-, but there is one certainty in life. God presides over all of these times. Thank you, Lord for your faithfulness.
I just returned from my first trip without my loving companion. I went with our Seniors group from church to Chattanooga. Travelling by bus we arrived Friday afternoon; went for a dinner cruise that evening on the Southern Belle on the Tennessee; had an all day excursion on a train to Coppertown (an old copper mining town); and boarded the bus on Sunday for the return trip. We had a wonderful time in a short period of time. There was lots of laughter, fun, and fellowship.
Andy was so impressed that I was able to ride on a bus, ship, and train all in the same weekend. I would love for Amy and Clayton to take he and Kendall to Chattanooga and let them experience the same adventure that I had. I know that he would love it and I think that K-Cole would, too.
I was a bit proud of myself for venturing out of Milan. Spending the night away from home has been my achilles heel since James passed away. I am okay going out during the day and at night until it is time to go to bed. I just had not been able to convince myself to spend the night away from my room/bed. My room has been my sanctuary until this weekend. However, we (Mister and I) had not travelled to Chattanooga in quite a long time. My only difficult time came when we were returning and I thought about how much he would have enjoyed being with all of our old church friends once again. He surely did enjoy having a "large" time and he insisted on everyone having a good time along with him!
You know, the tears that I cried and still cry are not for him, but are mine alone. I have selfish tears for now. I would love to be able to talk to him, see him, catch him up on everything, hold his large hands, and hug him again. However, I would not deprive him of his eternity for anything. These are just selfish thoughts. We will share good times again with our Lord.
Wow! Isn't that an awesome thought?
Pray for peace and comfort for all of my cohorts who are grieving/hurting.
Grace and peace be with you,
Cathy
I just returned from my first trip without my loving companion. I went with our Seniors group from church to Chattanooga. Travelling by bus we arrived Friday afternoon; went for a dinner cruise that evening on the Southern Belle on the Tennessee; had an all day excursion on a train to Coppertown (an old copper mining town); and boarded the bus on Sunday for the return trip. We had a wonderful time in a short period of time. There was lots of laughter, fun, and fellowship.
Andy was so impressed that I was able to ride on a bus, ship, and train all in the same weekend. I would love for Amy and Clayton to take he and Kendall to Chattanooga and let them experience the same adventure that I had. I know that he would love it and I think that K-Cole would, too.
I was a bit proud of myself for venturing out of Milan. Spending the night away from home has been my achilles heel since James passed away. I am okay going out during the day and at night until it is time to go to bed. I just had not been able to convince myself to spend the night away from my room/bed. My room has been my sanctuary until this weekend. However, we (Mister and I) had not travelled to Chattanooga in quite a long time. My only difficult time came when we were returning and I thought about how much he would have enjoyed being with all of our old church friends once again. He surely did enjoy having a "large" time and he insisted on everyone having a good time along with him!
You know, the tears that I cried and still cry are not for him, but are mine alone. I have selfish tears for now. I would love to be able to talk to him, see him, catch him up on everything, hold his large hands, and hug him again. However, I would not deprive him of his eternity for anything. These are just selfish thoughts. We will share good times again with our Lord.
Wow! Isn't that an awesome thought?
Pray for peace and comfort for all of my cohorts who are grieving/hurting.
Grace and peace be with you,
Cathy
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Falling to Sleep
There are so many rules and reminders to grief. I have lost my grandmother, grandfathers, dad, mom, and now my sole mate. I read that when you lose your grandparents, you lose your heritage. When you lose your parents, you lose your past. When you lose your spouse, you lose your present.When you lose your child, you lose your future. This is so profound, but so true.
Rule 1: Don't make any major changes the first year. I changed my bed from a California King to a full size bed. What a step down. Rule 2: Clean out the "closet" at least by 3 1/2 weeks. We finally made it in 3 1/2 months. Rule 3: Don't make so many adjustments too quickly or without thought to the consequences.
Which brings me to the topic of today's blog.
When I was a young girl, I had a twin bed. I would scoot all the way down and hook my toes over the end. I would then rock myself to sleep. This habit continued into young adulthood.When James Gravenmier and I became man and wife, we had a full size bed. I used the same method for rocking myself to sleep to overcome his snoring. He snored. I rocked. We were the perfect couple. Except, he hated the "rocking" bed. He fumed and complained enough that I decided to grow up and dispense with the rocking. Marital bliss continued, until he became ill. Guess which habit helped him to relax and fall asleep during chemo or after a hard day at work, or when he became really ill? You got it! He hooked his feet on the end of the bed and would rock us both to sleep!
This weekend we cleaned out his closet. Monday, I gave my Calif. king bed to Kate and Josh and got a full size bed. I have now resumed the habit of hooking my toes over the end of the bed and rocking myself to sleep.
This week has been one of the worst on me to date. I think that I broke rule number 3 - Don't make too many changes too quickly.
Grief - Get rest if energy fails! Maybe you need to rock yourself to sleep! It does wonders.
Thank you Lord for our many blessings.
Have a glorious, fall weekend.
Cathy
Rule 1: Don't make any major changes the first year. I changed my bed from a California King to a full size bed. What a step down. Rule 2: Clean out the "closet" at least by 3 1/2 weeks. We finally made it in 3 1/2 months. Rule 3: Don't make so many adjustments too quickly or without thought to the consequences.
Which brings me to the topic of today's blog.
When I was a young girl, I had a twin bed. I would scoot all the way down and hook my toes over the end. I would then rock myself to sleep. This habit continued into young adulthood.When James Gravenmier and I became man and wife, we had a full size bed. I used the same method for rocking myself to sleep to overcome his snoring. He snored. I rocked. We were the perfect couple. Except, he hated the "rocking" bed. He fumed and complained enough that I decided to grow up and dispense with the rocking. Marital bliss continued, until he became ill. Guess which habit helped him to relax and fall asleep during chemo or after a hard day at work, or when he became really ill? You got it! He hooked his feet on the end of the bed and would rock us both to sleep!
This weekend we cleaned out his closet. Monday, I gave my Calif. king bed to Kate and Josh and got a full size bed. I have now resumed the habit of hooking my toes over the end of the bed and rocking myself to sleep.
This week has been one of the worst on me to date. I think that I broke rule number 3 - Don't make too many changes too quickly.
Grief - Get rest if energy fails! Maybe you need to rock yourself to sleep! It does wonders.
Thank you Lord for our many blessings.
Have a glorious, fall weekend.
Cathy
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